Newsletter: All Good All The Time?

I keep hearing the idea that we’re “good inside” or that we have “no bad parts.” Can that possibly be true?

 

Yes!  Our brains evolved to protect us and promote our well-being. The specific circumstances that we experienced including the parenting we received, our interactions with friends and peers, the community we grew up in, psychosocial stressors or supports in our lives, etc. caused our brain to develop specific coping strategies. These strategies were helpful or necessary at one point in our life, but  sometimes become unhelpful or harmful as we get older and our circumstances change. Anyone born with the same brain who developed under the same circumstances may have developed the same strategies. Twenty five years of experience as a psychotherapist has taught me that we’re all doing our best!

 

I do things that affect myself or others negatively. How can I better relate to these choices?

 

  • Have compassion for yourself, knowing that you’re doing the best that you can.
  • Try to honor the part of yourself that made the choice by understanding how it’s trying to help you.
  • Ask the part of your brain that’s trying to help you (although in an ineffective way) to give you some space.
  • Once you have space YOU can decide what your next steps are, based on your values.

 

This process may seem difficult, and working with a talented therapist matched to your specific needs can really help.

If Scarsdale Psychology Associates can be a resource for you or anyone you know, please reach out to me directly at 917 620 8749

 

Warm wishes,

Ilana

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